magkasama kami ng mga katropa kong si bugie at noi kahapon. halos puro gaguhan lang, as expected. ayos lang. di naman parating ganon. we had our profound moments. for instance, bugie's query..

bugie:
"kung lahat ng tao sa mundo tumalon ng sabay sabay di kaya mawala sa axis ung earth"?

putangina, napaka-"philosophical" ng kanyang katanungan..

"what is the meaning of existence?", tanong ng mga pilosopo. ano nga ba ang kahulugan ng buhay? nais kong malaman iyon. kaya ako ngayo'y napaisip..


"mayroon kayang CR ng babae sa mga gay bar?"

"nadiskubre na ang "speed of light". ano kaya ang "speed of dark"?"

"bakit kulay berde ang blackboard?"

"ano kaya ang mangyayari kapag pinakain mo ng bacon ang isang baboy?"

"kung ang talo ay kabaliktaran ng panalo, ano ang kabaliktaran ng kabaliktaran?"

"bakit mayroong butas and donut?"

"kapag ako'y namatay at napunta sa langit, pwede kaya akong umutot doon?"

"bakit puti ang tae ng ibon?"

ano ang kahulugan ng buhay? kasagutan ang aking nais..
ang hirap maging pilosopo, tangina.

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"Thinking is hard."

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flashback a couple of days ago. kakatapos ng klase. having eaten only tsoknat for breakfast, i was frickin' starved. an opportunist in the truest sense of the word, i dropped by the journal thinking i could bag some free chow. they were interviewing fresh meat, este some new kids for the publication. "interviews are stressful. food eases stress. there should be food nearby, hehe.", i rationalized. tanong ako, "oist, me chibog ba kayo jan?". they said "sure." and pointed at some sorry scraps of mojos. damn. with an apparent disregard for my famished condition they added, "mag-interview ka muna. eto, evaluation sheet." tangina, ansaya. as ren and stimpy would have put it, "happy, happy, joy, joy"..

so i sat down and chewed gum for nourishment. my stomach grumbling, i went to work. asked some questions.. jeez. answers so stupefyingly generic. personalities so bland. they were boring me shitless. i watched 3 applicants enter, kiss ass, then leave.. leaving no impression on me whatsoever. puta, i love this job. i was resigned to the fact that the remaining interviews would suck just as badly. until she came.

goddamnedsonofabitch, she was beautiful..

katabi ko:
"tangina, laway mo. parang ngayon ka lang nakakita ng babae a."
ako:
"inamorin, gago."

anyway, she answered sensibly enough, though still a bit dull for my taste. didn't care to ask her any questions though. i had something else in mind. i whipped out my trusty ballpoint and began sketching her as she sat through the spanish inquisition. a minute into the sketch, i noticed her staring at me strangely. wondering what the *hell* i was doing, most likely. before i could explain, the others blurted out, "hija, pagpasensyahan mo na siya. he's our resident artist-slash-weirdo. autistic talaga yan. don't worry, he's harmless. just don't feed him." salamat. nakakapogi talaga yun, tangina. rak en rol.

after the interview my fellow (all-female) staffers commented on my drawing. "oy, di naman ganung kaganda yung girl e. ba't ang ganda niya dito?" anlaki siguro ng katarata ng mga yun. "maganda talaga siya!" i mean look, to be compelled to sketch her in the middle of an interview.. she was the frickin' mona lisa for crying out loud! jealous old farts.. i wonder? ba't sila ganun? a week prior to this incident, i mentioned that a certain applicant (who had no chance in hell of passing. kilala mo to bugie) was pretty. same thing. "di siya maganda. bulag ka ba?", coming from zee gurls. zee men agreed vith me though. get to the point, asshole. okay, baka women lack the sensory faculties to determine whether another woman *is* beautiful. hmm.. or maybe the aren't capable of *acknowledging* it.. nah. everyone, don't take me seriously, this is mindless blabbering. forgive me and my neuroses.

yun lang.

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"Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry."

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i have to lose weight? dang, that sure sounds funny after hearing, "putanginamo, nagdodroga ka ba? ang payat mo na!" over and over for the past few months. great. lose 10 lbs. in 2 months for an upcoming tournament. apparently, the college judo team needed someone in the - 60 kg. category and i was the lucky bastard they had in mind. oh happy day. you guys should've considered sacrificing me to moloch while you were at it.

i have to lose weight. i'm an anorexic schoolgirl. does this dress make my ass look big? fuck. i eat like a pig for a reason. 'cause i don't like hearing, that "are you a druggie?" shit. another guy was asked to *gain* weight. he shot me a smug look. it's a good thing the others were there. i would've pummeled that smirk off his face if they weren't. i asked, "ba't ako, coach?" here's what he said, "you seem to lose weight real quick. lose some more. thanks." astig ka coach. you're such a humanitarian.

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"if vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?"

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ang galing. i tuned in to nu 107 a while ago. after a couple of whiny emo crap (damn, i hate emo), imago's rainsong played. mag-iisang minuto pa lang sa kanta, nagsimulang umambon. yeah, it friggin' rained while friggin' rainsong was playing. synchronicity?

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numerical methods. more than 3 weeks into the discussion, i'm still clueless about it. it doesn't help that our prof sounds like he's got a wine cork lodged in his throat. oh. oo nga no? 2 araw pa lang ako pumapasok. figures.

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"ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy."

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putangina, anong explicit lyrics?! go-quiz assholes don't know shit!

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

FU_MANCHU CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com




"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
- fu_manchu

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score only. alam ng mga hussar to. i have 2 minutes. got to rush. fear i've gotten brain-fog from excessive sleep deprivation, kaya ala kong masusulat na matino. would love to write something sensible though, lest others be led to believe i am a cretin. here goes. uh.. er..

anyone have a copy of plan 9 from outer space?! it's arguably the worst movie of all time! check out the tag line.. "Unspeakable Horrors From Outer Space Paralyze The Living And Resurrect The Dead!" i wanna watch it! okay. that wasn't so clever. 2 minutes up. i'm a cretin.
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